Friday, January 27, 2012

Beloved Dead a Love Story - Sort Of

On Sunday I went to a memorial service for a friend who passed over.  I've only been to a few funeral/memorial services in my life and for some reason this one was really frustrating.

On one hand it was great, but on the other hand I wanted to tell everyone else that they were going about this all wrong!

My friend was a beautiful, vibrant, spiritual woman just shy of 80 years old.  She loved life and she made connections with people everywhere she went.  She understood that life was about love and truly touched everyone who ever met her.  As we sat there in this funeral home, I felt like we were doing her spirit a disservice.

Instead of sitting in this bland, dull, boring mortuary space, we should have been somewhere lush and beautiful.  We should have spent our time honoring her in a place that honored her spirit.  Instead of playing watered down versions of her favorite songs, we should have been playing Nat King Cole and dancing; like her daughter said she loved to do.  We should have been celebrating her vibrant life and sharing stories that brought tears, laughter, and memories of her bright inner spirit.

I know that everyone needs to grieve in their own way, but this didn't feel like a service to honor the woman that I knew.

The good news is that what is remembered lives and it was clear that everyone in that room knew her the same way that I did.  Her vibrancy, light, and love of life will be carried on.  For that I am grateful.

1 comment:

  1. I'm sorry for your loss.
    It's sad to see that funeral services are so ritualized in our society that you couldn't do your friend's character any justice.