Wednesday, August 4, 2010
I have been doing a lot of writing lately. Writing on a variety of topics. Some of them interesting and some of them not. One thing has become very clear to me. I do really love it. I don't love writing for writing sake. In fact, some of the writing I have been doing I don't really like at all...but overall I do enjoy it. There is a point to this (I promise), I am just getting going...
I went to California Witchcamp over the summer. Right before leaving for camp I was faced with a serious decision that I had to make. It involved employment and money and fear. I have struggled with the thought of going back to the corporate world that spat me out last year. It would earn me the money I need, but it would kill my soul. I didn't know what else to do and I felt lost and really alone.
Since then I have been lucky enough to cross paths with two Fairy Goddessmothers....
The first one was at camp. She saw that I was struggling with something and engaged me in a conversation. By the end of our talk I was bawling like a baby and talking about how much I loved writing fiction. I admitted to her (and myself) how I had always wanted to be a writer when I was a kid, but got caught up in not being good enough. I spent too much time comparing my work to others. I wasted so much time trying to be like someone else and not honoring who I was and am. By just asking me a few direct questions, Fairy Goddessmother 'E', helped me to see what I should be doing. She helped me to see what my heart was longing for. She helped me to see what I had always wanted to be and had forgotten along the way.
The second Fairy Goddessmother came along after camp. She help me to put my dreams into a plan of action. She showed me that it is possible to follow my dreams and make money at the same time. I really look up to all she has accomplished and know that I can blaze my own trail, just like she did. I actually took her advice (which I am not always good about) and have seen it come to fruition. Fairy Goddessmother 'I' gave me the tools to make my dreams possible.
I am excited about what is happening in my life. I have been so busy since getting started. I am working ten hours a day, but it feels like ten minutes. I am getting to write about Witchcraft and things that I love (and sometimes things I could give a crap less about). I am working on a fictional book that keeps me excited and engaged.
All around me things are in upheaval and transition, but I have never felt more clear or happy.