Friday, January 13, 2012

Avalon or My Secret Obsession

I'm not really sure when my relationship with Morgan LeFae started, but it has been a long and mysterious journey.  In my late teens she tapped my shoulder and took me under her mantle.  For many years I heard the whispering of the Fae ones, not really understanding what that meant or even what was happening.

Because of my connection to Her I was introduced to the Mists of Avalon, (I mean c'mon what Pagan girl doesn't love that book?)  When I lived along the Russian River I read each and every book that Marion Zimmer Bradley had written connected to the Holy Isle and the Priestesses that were a part of it.

I dreamed of walking up the Tor.  I wished to walk on the holy grounds where I felt my spiritual ancestors would have called home.  I was desperate to taste the water of the Red and White Springs.  And  luckily I got  my wish...

Several  years after my foray into the fantasy world that Marion Zimmer Bradley had created I found myself on an airplane on my way to England. 

After many magickal discoveries that I was not expecting I finally got the one that I was.  As the bus turned a corner and revealed the valley below I got my first glimpse of the Tor off in the distance and I knew that this was home.  This was the place where I belonged more than any other place in the world.  Once in the town I walked down the narrow streets that all seem to wind their way to the top of this magickal peak and it felt like I had done it a million times.

At the top of the Tor I sat and looked out over the land.  My partner made a joke, asking if I was in the process of calling the mists.  Shortly thereafter the mists started to fill up the valley and I felt as if Morgan herself was welcoming me home.

Every step that I took around the town of Glastonbury felt like I was treading on familiar ground.  There wasn't one place I went where I felt lost, confused, or out of place.  On my last day I felt as if my heart were breaking.  I didn't want to leave.  I wanted to stay there forever.

And now my longing remains.  It has been several years since my trip to England and every single day I have a longing to go back.  I check the weather in Glastonbury often, I pull it up on Google Maps to get a peek at  my homeland, and I look at pictures to remind me of what I am missing.

So yes, it is my secret obsession.  Everyone knows that I want to live there, but the intensity of my longing is something that words cannot express.  I don't live there right now for a lot of reasons, but I know that I will, and in the meantime I love Avalon from a distance and hold Her hand while waiting.

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