Thursday, February 6, 2014

You Deserve to Be Loved

I've started to write this blog several times and failed. I start to write, but then I get frustrated and then I get mad and then I get exasperated and then I give up. I really believe that what I have to say is so important that I want to say it to every single person on the planet. It is only five words, five little words, but the truth of these words is powerful. Are you ready? Here it is:

You deserve to be loved.

Now hang on, don't roll your eyes. Don't make a gagging sound. Just hear me out and why you're at it tell that mean little voice in your head to shut the hell up.

Here is a truth that you need to know.

You are important and you have value. You deserve to be loved - Period.

Love is what you deserve. Now in case you are wondering here are some things that you DON'T deserve:
  1. To be treated poorly.
  2. To be used
  3. To be abused.
  4. To continually have your heart broken by the same person.
  5. To chase after someone who clearly isn't worth it.
  6. To never give up on a toxic relationship, no matter who it is with.
  7. To hate yourself...
Remember that book that came out several years ago called; He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt? This books holds the same message that I am writing about here. If someone treats you poorly, doesn't try to contact you, only comes around for sex, has sex with other people (without your consent or behind your back), and generally hurts you over and over DON'T deserve that and that person just isn't that into you.

My fear is that people fall into this pattern because they actually don't love themsevles. If you loved yourself would you really let youself be treated that way? If someone was repeatedly hurting someone you love (your child, your mother, your best friend) would you allow that kind of behavior to continue? No, I bet you wouldn't.

So why do people allow themselves to be treat like this over and over again?

You deserve to feel whole, fulfilled, and happy. But guess what? No one outside of yourself can ultimately make you feel whole, fulfilled, or happy. Only you can do that. If you spend all your time chasing after someone else to make you feel whole you will be chasing forever. You have to learn how to find these things within yourself first. Like my guru RuPaul says; "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an Amen?"

Each day I witness people making the same choices over and over again expecting a different result. Each day I hear people crying about the lover that cheated, lied, left. I witness people who are willing to do anything to get that cheater, liar, leaver, to come back. Maybe it's worth it, but really, if someone loved you, really loved you, would they treat you that way?

If you really loved someone, would you treat them that way?

Relationships (especially romantic ones) aren't what the movies tell us. It isn't all wine, roses, skipping through the park, and running towards each other in slow motion. Yes, relationships take work and work can be hard; and yes work can hurt. But in the end the work should be worth it. In the end there shouldn't be more work and struggle than happiness and good times.

You deserve to have someone see you for what you truly are. You deserve to have someone acknowledge that you are a shining miracle; you are a unique point of light on this planet. You deserve to be loved.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for this it is exactly what I needed to read at this time in my life. <3