Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Crawling Through a Window

I am sitting here at my office desk inside my little cubicle walls pondering on, well, why am I doing this? Why I am sitting here bored and internet surfing? There have been interesting developments here at my office. Interesting in that devistating kind of way. Almost one month ago my co-workers and I were all called down to the conference room for an "Emergency Mandatory Meeting". (Dhun, dhun, dhun, que the dramatic music.) There were whispers on the way down...what could this be about?....are we going to lose more stuff now?....are we losing our jobs?

Well the answer to all those questions was a resounding YES! Um...what? Excuse me? Yes, they are closing our office and moving all of our jobs to New York. (New York City?!?) Most of my co-workers will be gone in the beginning of April. Some of my co-workers will be here until the end of May. I am here until the end of April. So I sit here sad, mad, frustrated, and really a little bit relieved.

All of this leads me to look at what in the name of Hades I am doing with my life. I mean, don't get me wrong, my job is a good job, but it is not something I love. It is not something that urges me to get up and get going in the morning. It is not something I want to shout from the rooftops. "I'm in Customer Service and I love it! Whoo Hoo"

I have never been fired or laid off before in my life. I guess that is pretty good, yeah? But I am taking this as a blinding, slap in the face, message from the Gods. It feels like they are practically yelling at me! I hear..."RED, you have been wasting you life! Here is your opportunity to do something amazing..DON'T SCREW IT UP!"....Uhh, no pressure right?

So I am faced with the age old question. What do I want to be when I grow up? And the even bigger question......What is my purpose? What am I here? What should I be doing?

A door closes and another one opens, or if you cannot find another door, find a window to crawl into. The Gods never give you more than you can handle. I really truly believe this all the way down to the bottom of my heart. The Goddess has just unfolder her arm pointing the way. She is urging me forward to make a difference. This is the year of "Change" after all, is it not?

I am listening Mother, I hear you calling. I am open to receiving your blessings. I am searching for that window.

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